i feel very depressed
so come blog
i darnoe whie
maybe too tired
fatigued
maybe maybe maybe
i have loads of qns
yea
for you
yes
why am i still thinkin of all these stuff?
whie?
that's the first qn
will u remember me?
will you forget me?
are u happy?
are u sad?
do u still think of the things in the past?
do u?
or do u not?
do u remember?
no
the ans is no
i know
the answer is never yes
watever i ask the answer is still never yes
why i still feel hurt?
i thought im numbed
i thought i will be ok
i thought everything will turn out fine
i thought i will forget u fast
i thought i thought i thought
i know u all will say
let go let go let go
if it has ever been so easy
i would have done that long ago
i feel so haunted
so stressed
i look at him
i realise i dunno him
who is he?
someone
yi ge ren
mo mo ren
yi ge wo bu ren shi de ren
que zai wo xin zhong you ge di wei
i erased every single memory in mah comp
but the ones in my brain cells remain
ah ya
i try so long
so hard
though i say i hate him
yea
i muz continue to say to myself that i hate him
pple ask if i got xin huan
do i look like this kind of person
i know its never possible between us
i jus darnoe whie im half hanging like this
its so bloody painful
everytime my heart juz tears and tears
so much blood shed
but i hung on
i told myself
he's nth
but im going back on my conscience
each time i say this
i hurt myself more
wat the hell am i feeling?
whie am i feeling this way?
wat the hell is happenin to me?
i juz wan to forget
but
fate doesnt allow me to.
.idunnoyou.idunnoyou.idunnoyou.

weeeee
back lerr
today got o lebel chinese exam
i darnoe how to rank this paper
overall esh ok but made a lot of careless mistakes lar
that means = die
nvm lar
over liaos
no use crying over split milk marx
hmms
went to lot one after the exam with hui yu and kezia
den take fotos again
lolx
ho eh
den me go play bball at windermere
play with alot alot alot of girls
all younger than me but bball skills yi liu de lehhhhx
lolx
pei fu pei fu
i was very shattered by sun wu kong de show
very touching
he that she ji wei ren de character
wahhh
i admire him
i very cold nowww
brrrr
about him marx
darnoe esh the word i guess
everytime look at him like darnoe him liddat lors
wo yi jing bu ren shi ni ler

woohoos
back from hui yu's house
got harry potter lehx!
but tmr got o levels
so cannot watch the entire show
-sighs-
finished the syallabus twice ler
but im not sure if im prepared
-sighs-
hope everythin will be smooth sailing tmr
-prays-
abit de tui ran todae
sad sad one
darnoe whies
maybe becoz of him again
todae took lotsa fotos again
at hui yu's house with her camera fone
mahahas
very fun
=))
gtg lerr
back to studdeh
-gone-

weeeee
i very happie sia
studdeh finish the syallbus lerr
not so scared liao hahax
hui yu come mah house studdeh
until now
have a quick glance thru all the words
know the meanin all that stuff
wahahas
we were so tired
back from ikea and queensway
ytd go esther's house ton
lolol
so fun sia
luffin at pple at kfc
that dumb dumb
heex
me took a lot of pics with hui yu
at lot one as well as her camera fone
wahahas
very fun
hahaxz
im juz happy todae
=))
actuallie esh go jiaxian's house studdeh with dan and sheryl
but dun feel like hanging out with guys
dey wan to play bball in the evenin
i can only make it in the evening anyway
so liddat lors
oh ya
today's supposed to be a sad day
sighs
never mind rahs
.imallaboutyou.

weeeee
back from lot one
me esther and chris go dere take fotos
mahahas
now she sleepin at mah house sia
lazy bum
-luffs-
today mock exam's venue esh at ava room
den a lot of pple
woohoos
three classes
48 49 and 410
yeas
he's dere
he's at a point where i can easily peep
die lars
-sighs-
i wun see
i swear i wun
-zzz-
esther:wot sehhh. /me punch mau =))
wahh
punch me
=//
try larrrr
it has been quite some time lerr
mmmm
me goin eat mah gor's fishball noodles tmr
heex
with esther and hui yu
mahahas
den me and hui yu go ikea
she wanna see some dong dong
lols
accompany her lors
mmmm
tired...
muz studdeh ler
mon o levels worr
-prays-
.thinkingofyou.missingyou.lovingyou.theoldyou.

mahahas
gettin a headache
juz back from esther's house
-luffs-
i was chionging chinese alll the way while she entertain herself
lolx
today in me original class the guys play the song "bo si mao"
den i abit, abit irritated lax
i heard they are teasing him instead of me and dan
better lars
better than they tease me with someone who has already got a stead and me having someone else in mah heart
den gor help me
mah first gor
he stopped the song lors
yeas
zzz
-fatigued-
tmr esther come pick me from school sia
so gud hors
den she come mah house awhile den go take fotos again
cute sia she
ahahaxz
zzz
i quite stressed wors
these few days keep hearing things
i very scared lehx
now 7th month already meh
i dun wan to tok about it now lars
now niteeee
=//
die lars
mah results
man jiang hong
met ms pok todae while waitin for esther
den ask her whether i fail norts
she juz say darnoe
zzz
she no need to tell me i oso know lars
when did i ever pass mah a.mths
duhxz
sighs
wrote too much today
im so damn tired
till i have to roll mah eyes in pain
real pain worss
.idunwannaloseyouandiwillalwaysloveyounishiwodelaopo.

bleahx
just back from a three hour tuition
ho bo
=//
very tired sia
-sians-
tmr got chinese listenin and mock paper
sian is the word
im juz so damn farked up by the amount of work piling every single day
feel like gorgin myself with food
but house no food
-sighs-
today i very quiet in school
the truth is
i have forgotten how to be happy lerr
i juz darnoe
i keep having mood swings
mood very bad
keep wantin to flar up but of coz muz ren
today somehow somewhat i wanted to cry one
but ren oso
coz dun wan anyone to know whie i so sad today
or rather everyday
ah ya
i am a saddist marx
muz live up to the name
woohoos
.im juz tryin plainly to forget you as soon as possible.

woohoos
back from school
so damn sian
all those chinese lessons
-sighs-
keep doin lotsa papers
-pengz-
hmmx
a bit sad sad today lehx
i darnoe whie
each time im happy i will feel guilty de
zzz
im so tired
my eyebags are getting heavier and heavier
like haven slp for months liddat
that tired
-sighs-
esther go celebrate b'day with vivien
happy b'day wors
may all your dreams come true =))
now i rotting at home
wahahas
i sot liaos
-sighs-
whie am i still missin him
its been two months plus ler
rejected 2 guys after the break
not our school one
but they are juz foolin around only so nvm
i wasnt in a state of shock
i dun give a damn
nah
im used to these kind of stuffx
hmms
den me and rer never tok at all todae
never lors
at all
an alphabet alsho dun have
-sighs-
never mind lar
she got liang
-sighs-
whie whie whie
whie am i still feelin liddat
guess it takes time
slowly
man man lai
-SIGHS-
|no more thoughts|
.wohuifazhedairanhouwangjinijiezhejinjinbishangyan.

weeeee
backie..
juz came back from daniel's house
he cooked sphagetti for us sia
lolx
heard it is salty
hahax
there got me, sherylyn, winnie, yu qi, ka yin and daniel's girlfriend
wahhh
his gf damn chio lolx
winnie go li siao both of them
about how long they have been together so and so
lolx
cute sia
hmmx
den got tok about some thingys with winnie about me and him
alot of pple know about me thingy liddat
lolx
i really dunno how to answer when pple ask me if i still like him
i juz cant open mah mouth
-sighs-
true lar
i got miss him
but it's the old him bah
i dunno the him now
den somethin very disappointin greeted me in the mornin
i entered the classroom
den see karis and rer tokin together
i sorta join in
den rer say
mau ar.. u go away.. sit there.. dun move
i was like
ah yas
juz very disappointed lors
anyway i juz walked out of the classroom
den talk to jy
-sighs-
now alsho gettin distant from esther lerr
sorry wors
really too tired nowadays
cannot always go your house ler
coz always spend money
den scared see u too often den very little things to tok about
dui bu qi
-sighs-
u never reply mah sms alsho..
i sad liaos
never miss me de mehhh
chou lao gong
-sighhs-
everythin is going more and more distant from me
away and away
includin icy
probably all will be gone soon
probably probably probably
.eachdayisinkmoreintodepression.eachdaymyeyebagsgetworseworseworse.

-hmms-
bloggin again
nth to do sia
dun feel like studyin
the moment i do
my eyes wanna shut themselves up
zzz
too bad lors
eeks
i dreamt that mah gorx going back to hong kong
-sighs-
hope it doesnt happen in reality
if it does im gonna miss him real badly
bahhs
i finally got mah contact lenses
weeeeee
mah father bought for me without complaints
while mah mother complained
as usual
zzz
never go esther's house today
way too tired
sighs
stil have tuition hw
dun even know the qns leh
=.=
three hours tuition tmr
wah pengz
gonna be real tired
woohoos
-gone-

-sighs-
juz woke up
thought about a lot of things
i know i shouldnt
i bloody know well i shouldnt
juz a minute ago
i was playing around with mah comp
nth to do
since never connect to the net
go click documents
den that notepad
i know i shouldnt
i carn bear to delete
it hurtx
wahh
mannnnn
im not suppose to feel hurt anymore
nononononono
that's the past
sometimes i wonder if past = crap
bahhs
that sickenin jay
gimme so much crap
why am i always made a sub to fulfil desires
whyyyyyyy
why carn i be loved as one and only
and be loved as just me
plainly me
im juz plain old maureen
what do u expect?
i finally stayed at home
at least the situation is better now
not so noisy and full of conflicts
bahhhhs
anyway
i dun believe anythin about waitin for this and that
no longer believe in such fairy tale things
wait wait wait
in the end still left me alone
fendin for myself
against reality
i want to hate you
to the core
but
i can't
pipanigelongdingdongahhhhhh
juz wish i can end mah life
been endurin for dunno how long already
come on man
give me something more interestin in life
rather than all these heartbreakin thingys
i wish i would not be so soft hearted
i told him i hate him
but my heart is tellin me a different thing
bahhhhhhs
dunno rahs
both alsho have rahs
go cut hair le
-gone-

muahahas
added mah fav pic:

zzz
back lerr
or rather
missin later
coz gotta run to esther's house again
zzz
so many things happen wors
friendships..
relationships
basketball
all like wanna make a turnin point in mah life agains
okie dokie
first
friendships
i dunch know what's goin on ler
those who i tot were my most trustworthy friends turn out to be the most untrustworthy ones
i dunno larx
very disappointed
dunch wanna tok about it
relationships
i dun even know it was one
turns out to be a fake one again
why muz i be a sub again and again
bahhs
know tat jay i mentioned before?
zzz
turns out he also cannot forget his ex den use me one
wahh
i so pitiful
evtime get sub
bball
hmmx
always shoot in one ball only
den get scolded
ah yas
i havin fever that day
i gal cant even do a lot of things one rites
so i juz choose to stand dere rohx
in the end still win rehs
abit lax
hmms
next time den update rahxz
-gone-

piews-
back from one week's exam
sho tiring
im totally knocked out that i even keep sleepin at esther's house
zzz
i dun think i can pass many of mah exams anyway
-sighss-
as usual rohx
hmmx
had a weird dream today
yea
about him
WHYYYYYY
why himmm
-sighhs-
of all people in this world
haish
dreamt about how i keep followin him wors
den he was at the mrt
den i gei gao
stand dere watch him snap fotos of jy and her bf
[fake one larrr
these are not true]
den all the background are like what happen after 20 years liddat
pilipalalongdingdonggg
yea rites
after twenty years im still thinkin of him mehs
wth
even dreamx have jiao wei lolx
well
in the dream he tok to me
about how the girl say she takin bus one
but in the end take mrt
=.=||
but anyway
the fact that he appears in mah dreamx
-sighhs-
whywhywhywhywhywhywhy
what are all these signs
stopppppp~!
-sighhs-
den come appear another guy in mah life
though im not sure whether to accept him in mah life
well
i dun really know him at all de lors
dunno how he manage to get mah contact number
den start messagin
den callin
he from aes (assumption english)
play bball de rehx
not bad
he say he loves me
but weird weird de rohx
he never even see me before
nah
not believin guys anymore
zzz
mah exams arx..
sighhhhhh
wo bu yao kao shi le lahxx
bad omen todae sia
go esther's house again marx
den her house downstairs so many cockroaches
about 20 i think
dunno if she put dere to invite me
-.=
weeeee..
sittin for the last paper tmr..
cme
lolx
den play a bball match at windermere
hope i can play well rohx
play against eng chuan dey all
heard got fajar de pple comin down sia
bahs
-sighhs-

weeeee
backiex from esther de house
-luffs-
went there ton for two days
i spend most of mah time sleepin sia
i darnoe whie i so tired
plainly exhausted
-poofs-
=/
-sighs-
tot about many things these few days
while sleepin of coz
esther tot im sound asleep but i do suddenly stir up sometimes
too stressed
carn sleep well
yea
missin him
but there's nth i can do
i wanna sing songs for him on a cd
den i was thinkin
give him alsho no use rights
he told me he love listenin to his loved one singing songs for him
but im not the one now
so no use le marx
-sighs-
juz sing for fun lors
i love singin anyway
i've been thinking these few words
butifiletyougo.iwillneverknow.whatmylifewouldbe.
holdingyouclosetome.ifieversee.yousmilingbackatme.
howwilliknow.ifiletyougo...
-sighs-
bu yao xiang lerr~!
exammss~!

weeeee~
backiex
now esther and ke-li-shi at mah house
doin some hanky panky
=pPPPppp
-luffs-
change new skin liaos
coz mah old blog got prob
tagboard float inside one
sho farnie
den i deleted that blog rohs
now mah entry oni one very long long time ago de
pathetic sia
hmmx
todae maths was a real killer
nobody said it was easy
if there esh a person who said it was
he or she esh not human liaos
muz be somewhere from mars..
-luffs-
toopid madam ng
=x
hmms
later go esther house ton..
weeeee~!
hahax
can spend time with mah lao gong lehhhs
=pPp
okie dokie
anythin else later at her house blogg again rohs~!
stilllovingyou.stillmissingyou