had a sad day yesterday cuz most of the times i was alone
as usual.
at the carnival i was quite invisible
but he was having such a great time with his friends
keep changing his mind about me going to john's house
after shouting "you want me to go or not go?!"
and he walked infront with his friends totally ignoring me
and so in the end i made the final move
and walked away from them outside his school
two solutions solved.
1) i no need to be alone.
2) they need not hail 2 cabs.
this sentence kept ringing in my ears
"maybe he dont love me anymore"
he was concerned,
asked me who told him this
i said no, nobody.
i too, dont know the answer
he asked if i'm feeling like this..
i said perhaps.
he promised in the past he would be a better bf and accompany me once or twice a week
to movies or shopping
but weeks since school start..
we've gone nowhere
he said we would go eat ajisen on sat
but soccer is more important
then changed to monday
before that he even asked his friends to join us for ajisen!!!!!!!!
- boils -
as if i wasnt upset enough
i sms-ed him to call off the outing on monday
cuz even if we meet his heart isnt with me!
he have been meeting his friends straight since wed
and in simple terms, leaving me alone since wed.
his working friends asked him to kbox on monday ma
so i give him go lars
i said i got something on on monday.
pretty pretty pissed.
if he wants to be with his friends go ahead lors.
i dont want him to think of somewhere else when he's with me
that he should be sitting in an air con room singing heartily
he kept calling me during work
though i was sitting down right there
i refuse to respond.
cuz he asked if i wanna go kbox with his friends on monday
i shrugged and moments later i stepped out of the cafe
and cried.
big ants irritate me and so i sat on the stairs
a good spot away from his cafe
dont ask me out with your friends anymore!!!!!!
I HATE IT!
i dont hate ur friends. i hate being alone!
even when u are RIGHT beside me.
but still he found me in the end. i told him nothing.
cooled down at night
i apologise to him
he said he knows where his fault lies
then i wonder
since you already know why are you still repeating all these?
argh.
perhaps we're drifting apart.dave, i know how you feel.
but perhaps yours can be solved and made clear.
but not for mine.
he wants to be happy this way, so be it.
worse of all, i was a bit ill these days, but where was he?
unforgivable. damn.
my mum told me yesterday she can't tolerate dad
who keep flaring up
i asked her to stop talking to me about their stuffs
I HATE IT HATE IT!
she continues, saying she would leave home sooner or later
LEAVE LOR, SO BE IT!
everyday on the mrt back home i'm bound to collect some tears and hid it in my tear duct
and soak it back in.
and yes, i'm on the verge of depression. again.
i'm prone to it. yes. so what?
hopeless case? nah. i dont give a damn about it.
