mobile's prac test over.
phew (:

friday - submission of btcs proposal.
friday - comm skills presentation
monday - btcs proposal presentation 35%
wednesday - finance test during lecture 10%
friday - ecommerce members task list

went town today
didnt went town for quite sometime,
i miss shopping!

i'm very into avril's songs these days.
lol.
wayyy into those songs.

hmm, tmr's gonna chiong abit on project.
no matter stay till how late.
i must make sure its done.

hmmm,
got back my ecommerce test today.
i just passed it leh, lolx.
look how the stress is affecting my school work.
i dunno how the rats manage to handle the stress so well.
but i must look on the bright side cuz all's not lost.

the presentation i think i give myself a just pass also.
she cant fail me for not giving sufficient content right.
i did manage to do some.
effort should be considered also.
she may think mine is crap effort.
but i did.
i just didnt pick the right information.
so i gonna pull myself together for the rest of the percentages.
its gonna be hard.
cuz all my A's will be gone.
sigh.

ecommerce too,
my participation, only a mere 6 marks, currently
i cant do much on participation,
i also dont think this system is fair for volunteery participation
its really hard when the whole class gets into enthusiastic mode!
u should have seen.
lol.
if your voice's a little soft that's it.
wave goodbye to ur participation marks.
i got too much of a hyper class.
to be exact.

now i hope i did well for security.
that was a whooping 15%
its hard to push myself.
but i got to.
i dowan my marks to deprove just because of this.
and at such an important year.

so i pulled the rest for mahjong,
asking them to help me relieve my stress
but i lost 6 bucks when i was winning $20!
roars.
and something didnt make me quite happy.
a little pissed off. i should say.
nevermind.
i have a big heart.
but stop harping on my pimples.
as if i didnt have enough emotional torture for the past 2 years.

okay i just spend another 25 bucks on a top.
lolx.
okkkk, i gonna die soon.
but i wont regret =x
the stocks clear super fast can.
hehe. online shopping and buying it do relieves stress.

i just bought avril lavigne's new album
The Best Damn Thing

well, it isnt as appealing as her past albums,
i prefer Under My Skin,

i couldnt feel anything from The Best Damn Thing.
while from Under My Skin,
there were lots of emotions involved.
so yea. i still prefer her past image also.
now her album is PINK.
though its cool for her to change her image,
but fans love her fierce image.

well, it's AVRIL LAVIGNE.
she likes it her way (:

back from the presentation we did at The Treasury
we failed though.
was total sadness,
cuz was so confident that we would clinch something.
but yet we didn't.
then before that was another financial presentation
i suppose we failed that.
cuz instructions werent clear.
and she told us the limited number of pages.
this will of cuz affect our findings.
haix. everthing's so going against my way.
it's ok, i cant speak anything much here either.
thats the problem with blogs.
gotta be careful of what we speak.
just that i was really crestfallen.
yeah.
and i think we scored well in National Education.
which has no credits for this module.
arghhh.

today's lianhong birthday!
im sorry i couldnt attend,
was really broke and got lots of assignments to do.

those people taking financial info next sem,
i must say congratulations.
this's gonna train you how to handle stress.
even im going to break down.
cuz they squeezed the syllabus from 17 weeks to 8 weeks.
so the tests u have naturally became heavier.
and is a lot heavier.
i think i gonna fail a few.
there's hardly time to study.
and i always set high expectations from myself.
arghhh.

oh yea, found time to play mahjong on thurs.
there was one round i was freaking lucky
dont blink.

1. i got 3 animals straight from the start, got money for one bite one
2. den i got my flower
3. den i got another flower
4. den i got another my flower again, so got money for biting
5. i got more flowers
6. i got full house for flowers, got money for biting
7. den i GANG, 7 balls. lol. my curse for that day.
8. i listen to only 1 card. the eye. GOT IT from someone.
9. collected 6.40, 3.20, 3.20 and 2.40 from the biting cuz played 20c, 40c
10. MAN TAI! laughs happily.

HAHA.
that was the happiest day of that week. lol.

went out with my sec sch buddies
for junjie's birthday!
happy belated birthday!
grow up liao hor.
must be good hor (:

pictures of sat.
had more, but in others' cameras.
lolx.
took pics with my 3 best girls.
at manhantten fish market.
junjie's treat. lovely food and super full. haha
thanks jj!


cam-whoring in a loved place, the toilet.


my fav (:
drew lines in paint to cover that auntie lol.




thanks my pals for hearing my problems.
im much better now,
and gonna focus on my studies!

random pics following;



miss bean, with ribbon and hands.


pics of clouds with forms;

a dragon with mouth wide open.
head at the left side of the pic.


notice a sad boy sitting on a cloud whose back faced you?


i was in the library.
the clouds was blown away within seconds. lol.
how i wish i captured a rainbow instead. ahha

and this cute little dog at Pet Safari!
looks like cookie's breed right esther???
thanks girl for the forwarded msg,
i know u care, im fine now dont worry (:
loves loves.


and one last pic with the mr smiley!
vinc di's last year birthday present!


gonna be extremely exhausted with projects and presentations!
life's sure hectic in year 3.
lolx.

im in a dilemma.
im sure i need to think through it.
somehow.

he hasnt been treating me really good
and i've been feeling really sore.
he's trying to make amends now,
but im thinking if it helps.

i still feel the helplessness.
i always thought you would be there whenever i need you.
but you failed.
now i know,
you wouldnt be there if i need you.
isn't it.
it isn't the first time.
it's difficult to accept even an apology now.
it hurts too much this time.

went to ah ma house today,
i see how my parents fuss over my youngest sister,
over a small piece of fishcake.

i see how mum pampered my 2nd sister,
with cute bags,
all of which i didnt had in the past.
all i had was violence and tears,
that's all i could remember of my childhood.
unfair and unjustness was all i had.
yes, even up till now.

then alan had to break promises.
he said he will reach at 9 plus,
when i contacted him at 9,
he was still at his house,
MAJHONG-ING.
you claimed you wanted to be there for me?
AND YOU ARE SITTING THERE HAPPILY PLAYING MAHJONG?
what the hell are you thinking?
time now is 11pm.
fuck.
today's just not my day.

i cant remember a single thing my mum did to make me happy.
yes, all those childhood shit came flying back to attack my mind
whenever i think of "mummy making me happy"
i thought childhood was supposed to be the most happy and carefree years of my life.
i was plagued with:
blood, injuries of cane, blue-black injuries, humilation
all of which my sisters dont enjoy.
injuries of cane cuz she claimed i didnt concentrate on my spelling.
blue-black injuries cuz i talk back when i was maligned,
humiliation cuz i got 64 marks for math in pri 4.
caning because everything happened above.
now my sis fails her math at p6 and the other one got 61 at p3
how come i dont see any humilation going on?
and they got over it within 1 day?

happy mother's day?
my foot.
it's my happy crying day.

if anyone reading this is pissed off of me not appreciating my mother,
then sorry,
you are not me,
so you are not entitled to have any feelings after reading this.

went to my uncle's house for a family bbq
ages since i last saw all my relatives.
of course, mahjong again
and my losing streak came visiting me,
i lost 5 bucks again, lol.
didnt eat much,
all i ate was a couple of bee hoon and one piece of otah.
and yeah, one packet of chrysanthemun.

went shopping with dear yesterday,
saw many stuff i like!
why do we always see stuff we like when we are broke?
and always see practically nothing we fancy when we have the money?
arghhh.
but still, i bought a white spaghetti from espirit,
and im loving it (:
thanks to dear who asked me to check it first
cuz i took one which had its straps twisted.
there was no way i could twist it to it's correct position
we wanted go to vivo's pet safari! and raffles's donut factory.
but we hadnt got time to go.
sorry li yi! =x
he had to meet his godma for his monthly gathering.
im so sorry wor.

there're 2 tests next week.
but we hadnt got any hints to study on.
it's gonna be hard.

my parents fought again that night.
from 1 am to 2.30am

i cried and cried.
it was none of their faults.
it was me.
i "forced" them to get married.
if i was gone from then they wont have so many problems.
fighting over the same thing over and over again.
talking about divorce over and over again,
violence would surface soon.
i just dunno when.
then i cried over to their room
and yelled at them saying i fucking need sleep
and told them they think we like to hear their quarrels
they think they were shocked,
cuz they hadnt see me cry for years.
i always hide in my room whenever i need to cry.

thought of two pple to call and cry to them
one is dear, the other my buddy
but didnt want to disturb.
so i cried to my tweety bird.

and,
they got too many secrets with each other
i hardly feel like im friends with them.

my "buddy" has not been talking much with me
i didnt even tell him my family ran into some major problems.
i told lionel instead,
cuz he was mentioning my mood was better that day than of the day before
so i told him i was pretending to be,
wanted to tell my buddy later in the day,
but,
suddenly dont feel like doing it.
he was plagued with sickness and not talking much.
and had some problems which he dunno how to say.
so, i decided not to say.

all my family problems surfaced because of money.
did i mention we were once millionaires.
and my dad gamble it all away.
we are as good as bankrupt.
i want to earn plenty of money when i grow up.
i swear i will.

we watched the most anticipated movie of the year
Spiderman 3.
actually it wasnt as thrilling as one of the past series
it even scared the shit out of me thrice.
but the whole story is really nice,
4/5!
1 mark deducted for scaring me.
lolx.

was kicked out of the Java Jive competition
there wasnt enough slots.
abit disappointed,
but hmmm, i had to be glad cuz we hadnt started on anything much
and luckily nothing had been gone to waste.

projects are piling up!
so much so i didnt have much time to come to blog.
nothing much special to blog about anyway.
though today's show 10pm on channel u
<>
had a very saddening situation today,
i teared.
girls easily tear know,
i could feel her pain.
the girl broke up with her man of 10 years.
they were getting married.
and she decided to let go as they werent in as much love as before anymore.
she knew they will not be happy in future.
but she still loved him.
she just didnt want the pain to get worse.
the guy was devastated.

hai.
this dampened my mood alot.
i wanna go buy donuts with dear one day.
and share the donuts together.
just a simple outing with no unhappiness would make me a very happy girl.

back from MAYDAY!
lolx. i dont know why i keep quoting labour day as mayday
until i got my friends influenced too! hehe.

we're better now!
thanks for all the concern!
didnt went sentosa though.
lolx.
it was drizzling when we step out for the house.
i wanted to go see how nice sentosa has reformed!
love the scenic.
if only, the waters would turn blueee.
then engaged couples can save money to take pictures in our cute little island!
oh, we went shopping.
haha, dear bought me shoes, for presentation purposes.
Mr. CommSkills has very very high expectations.
so no choice. got it for 19.90.
im sure it will hurt like hell.
cause my feet's a whopping size 9.
and a white top from hula and co. 23.90
no.. dont say im lucky yet,
i insist once i get my pay i'll return him 50 bucks. haha.
he treated my mummy and sisters and of cuz me, an expensive meal.
so i thank him on my family's behalf.
thanks love!

i got myself fake eyelashes
which i dont know how the hell should i attach it to my eyes
and a belt. 2 items for ten bucks!
hehe.
saw a dress at my fellow friend's pushcart.
so so tempting.
but should i get one?
its 18 bucks,
but seldom can wear out right?
i mean wear to school already pretty weird know. hmmm.

alan's gonna kill me when i get those super high heels.
and mummy's gonna nag at me for having more clothes for my bursting wardrobe.
im turning into a lady, dearest mummy.
please understand! grins-
and stop complaining anymore when you get your precious 'bao bao lian' for mother's day.
hor.

oh yea,
when your partner buy you shoes,
give him/her a little money,
else he/she will run away.
haha. some myth.
i gave him ten cents first though,
cuz i havent got my pay =x

these few days i keep having hunger pangs.
hungry only a little while after meals.
mummy's cooking cockles tonight!
YUMMIES!!

oh oh.
there's a company call 'Cash Converter'
where you can sell your unwanted stuff there!
go google this yourself.
but not sure whether they have a web though.
hehe. sorry.