Friday, June 29, 2007 @ 8:41 PM
have been slacking this week!
so much so that have been playing mahjong almost everyday.
guilty =x

some random pics.

cute cute hamsters at bpp!


now we see you.


now we dont!


read this sign. i was in a cubicle of the girls toilet.


front of a car. lol.


i've watched two movies!
let me introduce them.


1st: Fantastic Four. Rise of the Silver Surfer.
Staring: Loan Gruffuud, Jessica Alba, Chris Evans, Michael Chiklis

Brilliant show! Effects were supremely impressive.
Those four were trying to save the world.
One super strong, one super fiery, one super invisible, and one super stretchable.
The Silver Surfer was the hero in the end. LOL.
heroic ending plus some dashes of humour and a sprinkle of romance between Sue Storm [Jessica Alba] and Reed Richards [Loan Gruffuud].




Plus Point: HOT babe Jessica Alba is acting in it. Watch how she makes her zit disappear in her fabalous wedding dress!

My Rating: 4.5 stars! (out of 5)




2nd: Spider Lilies (Ci Qing: Tattoo)
Staring: Rainie Yang, Isabella Leong

I didnt go to the cinemas to watch this cuz it's R21.

watched it at a friend's house.
there werent any sexual scenes. i repeat.
there were NO sexual scenes.
perhaps only a shot or two. of 3 seconds.
of two girls. this is a lesbian-themed movie.
and there was a repeating scene of a obscene web screenshot
and a female voice asking if anyone wants service.
i think this is the part that requires R21? shrugs-

this story is about a girl named Jade [Rainie Yang]
who had loved another girl named Takeko[Isabella Leong] since she was 9.
Takeko was always there for her at that time.
and that she wanted a tattoo to remember her love.
A tattoo of spider lilies.
of which Takeko tattoo-ed on herself so that her memory-lost brother could remember her as her father died and all the brother can recall was the tattoo of spider lilies on her father's arm.
i dont really understand the whole story though either.
pretty boring to me.

Plus Point: Teddy Award 2007 for best gay/lesbian film at the Berlin International Film Festival

Rating: 2.5 stars (out of 5)



Upcoming Anticipating Movies!!


Most Anticipated: ALONE. (from directors of The Shutter)
Genre: Horror
Showtime: 26 July 2007

(couldnt find an appropriate pic at the moment)

Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix
Genre: Fantasy
Showtime: 12 July 2007 (according to Cathay)



Ratatouille
Genre: Animation
Showtime: TBA





that's prolli all for the moment (:

Sunday, June 24, 2007 @ 10:59 PM
i have thousand and one things to handle.



week 11
comm skills mock interview
prepare comm skills assignment 4.

week 12
Security test Chapters 4 to 6 [15%]
Ecomm test Chapters 6 to 10 [5%]
Finance Case Study Presentation [8%]
intensive programming of BTCS and ecomm

week 13
Ecomm Phase 2 detailed task list
Ecomm Proposal Presentation [10%]
intensive programming of BTCS and ecomm

week 14
BTCS prototype
Comm skills Common test?

week 15
intensive programming of BTCS and ecomm
Security Case Study Report 10%
Mobile prac test?

week 16
buy coffin


Saturday, June 23, 2007 @ 12:23 AM
im still feeling down.

sometimes those memories just haunt me like nobody's business.

even after a break up,
things still happened.
i dont hate u.
but i feel anger, and confusion.

i know,
it's time to let go.

Thursday, June 21, 2007 @ 12:06 AM
we talked to each other.
agreeing that even if we get back together.
the feeling wont be the same anymore.
dont ever think that the person to bring up a break up doesnt hurt inside.
it hurts so much.
my tears formed a pool on my table.
but its a fact and we must accept it.
continuing will only hurt more.
we may look like the perfect couple on earth.
i did think so too.
but deep deep down, lots of mixed feelings are swirling inside us.
but yeah.
at least it was a mutual breakup.

to alan:


i treasured the fact that we once had a near perfect relationship.
we had our sweetest memories.
and i thank you for that.
i once loved you. and you loved me once.
this is enough.
i know you hurt me. and the hurt wouldnt go.
and that is enough.
i thank you for every single thing you bought for me
and every single thing you did to make me happy.
i thank you for growing up with me throughout these 2 years.
seeing me through almost everything.
we share tears, laughter, peace, everything.
i treasured the fact you were once my boyfriend.
my very treasured boyfriend.
now that we cant be together.
we'll still be best friends cuz we know each other so well.
i hope we will stay on as best friends.
cuz you were my best friend when we were tgt.
it's hard to let go.
but time will heal everything.
if in our next lives,
we still meet.
make sure you treat me good yeah.
open your heart once again.
and be the same old happy cheerful alan.
thats the alan i still wanna see.
you never know who's falling in love with your smile (:
dont forget your eyes can electrocute :D
slowly and slowly,
time will heal everything.
once again, thanks for everything.
we shall continue with our lives :D

Monday, June 18, 2007 @ 7:59 PM
i know deep down im feeling real depressed.
im just trying hard to distract myself.

dont keep asking me the same questions.
or do things that you prolli did to make me guilty.
you know i couldn't answer you.
you know my answer might not even be real even if i did.
you made me more depressed by doing so.

my heart just feels like a string.
being tugged here and there.
thats how i feel. right now.

each time this issue is discussed
my heart feels more heavy than ever.
i may reach a point where i wont choose.
at all.

i feel really down.
i dont wanna think.

Sunday, June 17, 2007 @ 11:12 PM
went to chill last night again!
went to 'The One' again, this time with 7 other people.
chilled till 6. then took mrt back.
none of us drunk though.
lolx.

before that seng met us at glenn's house for mj.
act interested in glenn's sisters!
lol.

before that all those days were about project project project.
and mahjong mahjong mahjong.
nth else.
lol.
sad life.

met up with esther for about an hour.
lol she.
full of crap as usual.
hahaha.
take care gal (:
and sorry to kez for keep rejecting her dates!
im sorry im really sincerely busy! =x
hugs.

Thursday, June 14, 2007 @ 12:33 AM
they played mj till super high today!
guiyuan won 44 bucks!
i didnt play. luckily. lol.

First week

1 pm at glenn's house. yeah. almost everyday.

monday: finance assignment, design layout for BTCS
tuesday: JAMMING! practice for bandzout.
wednesday: start on ecommerce ppt, prepare 20 qns for comm skills.
thursay: set up db. start programming own use cases. design my own ui.
friday: continue programming.
saturday: need not meet up. prepare interview kit. random tutorials.
sunday: meet alan half-day. another half-day do proj.

Second week

1 pm at glenn's house. yeah. almost everyday.

monday: wss training till 6. up to u all to meet up and cont programming.
tuesday: training till 1230. cont programming.
wednesday: training till 6. up to u all to meet up and cont programming.
thursday: training till 1230. cont programming.
friday: training till 1230.
sat & sun: programmingggg or rest. depends on progress.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007 @ 4:39 AM
well, seems like many people are concern about me and alan.
but yeah.
i just really want to take it slow at the moment.
no point hurting myself till i can't feel anything.
thanks for all your concern.
we went out today though.
to citylink and had waffle. 50% off on tuesdays!
yeah and then to esplanade. talk awhile and such.
i was practically sleeping there. lol.
the wind, so gentle and soothing. haa.
did alot of embarassing things lar he. lol.
shame shame =x

some updates.
went ktv with my brothers on sunday.
played pool first.
then to 'The One' near cine.
the room's very cosy.
singing menu is okay lar.
we opened one bottle of vodka.
i drank less than one cup.
but the others finished the whole bottle!
lolx. pro.
one ended up almost half-dead on the way home
one ended up with swollen hands the next day
while the other one should be quite pro
i din hear of him being ill or what. lol.
me - was just feeling really blank that day. haha
we intended to sleep there till the guy chased us off. lol.
we wanted to go eski bar.
but were like too far and expensive. i heard.

jamming today!
we went to fourtones music studio located near clarke quay.
which is also our audition venue.
we had difficulty finding the place actually.
but found it quite successfully. lol.
the place's quite tiny.
need to take out our shoes. lol.
first time jam. abit noob. =x
didnt have much progress actually.
okay lar, maybe a bit.
at least we got a feel of playing in a band.
UNPLUGGED! rock on!
i have confidence in ourselves! xD

then went to play mahjong at midnight.
midnight leh. ain't i crazy.
went jj house, thanks for fetching me from my house.
lol, it's scary to walk alone.
and i lost 6 bucks and my beauty sleep. lol!
hmmm nevermind lar. jj also gonna go NS liao right.
jia you yeah.
admire your hair more now.
=X

that's about all (:

Sunday, June 10, 2007 @ 1:30 AM
went out to chill today!

went out with my brothers again to town.
saw ruping!
still as sweet as ever. haha.
oh ya, we watched 'men in white' ytd.
it was lame. only entertaining.
not very worth watching to me.
not scary at all though the show's about ghosts.

today we went to eat my fav wanton mee first!
den we went to ktv.
sang quite happily till some lyrics of some songs affected me a little.
but soon i was back on track.
after some happy songs of cuz.
they rely on me for flooding the song list ok.
LOL.
then we played pool.
lol i performed quite well right hahahaha

i bought 4d leh.
8554. then it came out 4558!
am i sad.
yes im very.
im very very. awwwwwwwww.






OKAY. important news.
im offically single.

i want it free and easy as of now.
i shall still give it a go.
and let him date me all over again.
i want to get to know the new him too.

im sad.
im heartbroken.
but this is the only way.
we cant keep hanging on the string.
i gonna focus on my studies, and career.
and relationships shall go slow from here.

i've tried everything i can in this relationship.
it was a near 2-year one.
an unforgettable one and dearest to me.

but yeah.
shall start all over again.

Saturday, June 09, 2007 @ 12:20 AM
bad news.

i scold the kitten idiot yesterday.
then it scolded me back today.
kiddin.
it's gone lar.
it ran away.
sobs.

ok these 2 days i gonna enjoy to the max.
den start to focus on all assignments and projects.
the schedule as of follows;

brothers. i know you all will read my blog.
MUAHAHAHA.

First week

1 pm at glenn's house. yeah. almost everyday.

monday: finance assignment, design layout for BTCS
tuesday: JAMMING! practice for bandzout.
wednesday: start on ecommerce ppt, prepare 20 qns for comm skills.
thursay: start programming own use cases. take turns.
friday: continue programming.
saturday: need not meet up. prepare interview kit. random tutorials.
sunday: continue programming.

Second week

1 pm at glenn's house. yeah. almost everyday.

monday: wss training till 6. up to u all to meet up and cont programming.
tuesday: training till 1230. cont programming.
wednesday: training till 6. up to u all to meet up and cont programming.
thursday: training till 1230. cont programming.
friday: training till 1230. bandzout audition.
sat & sun: programmingggg or rest. depends on progress.

Friday, June 08, 2007 @ 12:48 AM
i told u i really forgot to bring the phone out.
then u scold and scold for making you worried.
i feel damn unjust.
why do i always get blamed for things that i didnt mean for it to happen?
or rather things that i did not meant to do?
u wont hear me out.
you just keep saying that i made u worried.
you scold me for making you worried.

u wrote in your blog saying you just want to know where i am
so you wont get worried
but what did you do on tuesday?
you said you went to amk to walk around?
den i tried calling you to find out how you are but you din answer did you?
i called your house then your mum told me you went to play basketball.
you made me worried but did i complain?
then you returned my call saying you were still at amk walking around.
werent you playing basketball?
then you said yeah, today's a tues blah blah
but did you tell me you went to play bball?
so now you tell me you're my boyfriend you ought to know where i am
but did you do the same?
and we agreed to cool off till sunday didnt we?
and try to contact as little as possible didnt we?
what is the definition of cooling off?

then you keep telling me you want me to be happy.
and so i did and i enjoy myself to the fullest these few days
i know most of your sad things relates to me
and i know you have been feeling very stressed up with project work
no one seems to be serious.
but you need to gain their respect first before they are willing to listen to you.
you cant force them to.
you got no choice if they dowan to do.
just do your part really well.
do well for your own sake.
well as for me,
let nature takes its own course.

alright enough about relationships.
found a kitten today!
guess it's just about a month old.
brought it to glenn's house to rear.
lolx. thanks for the accomodation.
i haven thought of a name yet.
still thinking.
they came up with rotten and obscene names LOL
roars.

it was damn afraid at the moment.
it wont eat or drink anything when we first met her.
she just bared her tiny helpless teeth to show she's agitated.
but we manage to coax her for i think, an hour.
LOL.
and bring it back to glenn's house in an abandoned turtle tank and drawer.
they bought friskies and finally ate it after 3 hours of observing.
lol. so cute.
next time i shall post it up.
there was actually another grown up cat
which we thought was the mother
den in the end it ran away from the kitten!
it looked dumb. big cat running away from small cat.
haha. but it looks like it can survive on its own.
so still rescued that little one.

the kitten will cheer me up for the next few days i believe.
though i soiled my clothes and left me mild scratches.
that idiot.

Thursday, June 07, 2007 @ 1:05 AM
he gave me a packet of things today
he called it the emergency packet.
it consists of plaster, green tea, chicken essence, sweets etc.

was touched.
of cuz.
and most of things already come in handy just today.
i appreciate it.
i do.
everything.

went out to relax today.
had a great day!
love u this bunch of funny friends.
it feels good to relax.
and end my day with a nice cabbie uncle who asks me to sleep well lol.

sometimes i really dont know what to do.
i dont feel like thinking what to do either.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007 @ 8:03 PM
my tears went dry.

Monday, June 04, 2007 @ 9:57 PM
everything's becoming so complicated.

i feel so upset.

we are so hurting inside.

someone pls save me.

Sunday, June 03, 2007 @ 6:11 PM
i asked him a deadly question.
left myself in tears,
and him tearily.
i asked,
how will you go on if we broke up.
and he goes on rapping what i should do and what i shouldnt do after we're single
and say he will still care about me
and gave me plenty of what he claimed "advantageous" reasons if we're not tgt.
my flood of tears come again.

i appreciate whatever he had done for me in this period of time.
but no matter how i look at it now it seems too late.
but still, i tell myself,
to still give him a chance,
sometimes we might be happy going out tgt
but sometime i end up sad.

i still love him.
i know i do.
i cant bear to let go.
but it's unfair for him if we go on.
it's unfair for everyone.

if only he had already treated me this good the moment we got tgt.
prolli our love would have been so steadfast it would never have waver.

it's true maybe i didnt care for you as much as i did last time.
we're having some sort of role-switching now didnt we?
but i know i still care.
i do and i still will.

im only asking what if.
im not initiating.

Friday, June 01, 2007 @ 12:06 AM
almost everybody made me mad today
i was happy, den angry,
den happy again, den angry again.
this feeling sucks.
its like trying to be happy but you cant.
somebody will force you not to.

NOBODY'S HOME by AVRIL LAVIGNE



i couldnt tell you
why she felt that way
she felt it everyday
but i couldnt help her
i just watched her make
the same mistakes again
whats wrong whats wrong now
too many too many problems
dont know where she belongs
where she belongs

(chorus)
she wants to go home
but nobody's home
thats why she lies
broken inside
with no place to go
no place to go
to dry her eyes
broken inside

open your eyes
and look outside
what you've left behind
you've been rejected,
now you cant find
find the reasons why

be strong be strong now,
too many too problems,
dont know where she belongs
where she belongs

chorus
the feeling she hides
the dreams she cant find
she's losing behind
she's falling behind
she cant find her place,
she losing her faith,
she falling from grace
she's all over the place
yeah, oh oh

chorus
she's lost inside lost inside
ah ah ah.
she's lost insidelost inside




sometimes i feel i am the 'her' in this song.