im very upset.
this blog post will be a very long entry to make up for the lack of updates in my life.
firstly,
i haven got over baby's death.
i still miss him very very much.
i love snowie too, but its a fact that she cant replace baby even though she's a lot more affectionate than baby.
secondly, family. yes, again.
what the hell is wrong with my family?
seriously to me,
this house is just a shelter for me to sleep in.
it's literally impossible for me to find love.
and almost 100% of the time i need to fcking give in.
since young till now,
even the time when i was abused heavily,
i had to STAND there and get hit by my mother.
be it bruising, kicking, punching, pinching, caning.
i had it all.
and i all wanted was to have ajisen ramen.
and i offered to treat.
they promised happily before we went out.
then when we reached there, they changed their minds.
yes its a small thing, but thats not the main issue.
the main issue is, why do i need to keep giving in to them?
and also on a day which i need not work, cant i eat something good?
so in the end i ate fishball noodles for $4.90.
which adding less than 5 bucks would enable me to have a sumptious fiesty feast at ajisen since they are having a $7.90 offer.
and why do i achieve good grades for?
it's not becos of my parents, it never will be,
for i have never received rewards but only reprimands when i didnt score well.
yes, the 64 marks i got in pri sch resulted in a heavy abusion.
you pple reading this may hate me for not loving my family.
but you all wont understand.
i have parents.
but why do they sleep separately?
i have sisters.
but why is there nothing i can speak to them about?
no one knows.
thirdly,
my dear boy cant come out on my bday,
which gladly falls on a friday but he is having the fcking field camp which doesnt allow him to come home for the weekend.
isnt that accurate?
the field camp is in the middle of their BMT.
and it has to be ON MY BIRTHDAY weekend.
fuck it.
now who can celebrate with me?
i'll be free, on fri, sat.
i wan to eat good food.
i keep eating school food til i gonna puke.
someone book me pls =(
tag there -->
i dowan to celebrate my last day of being a teenager with no one.
fourthly,
i think i dont really get well with my colleagues.
or is it just me,
i've turned very withdrawn.
yeah i missed my cheerful old self,
but i reckon when i'm excited, i always say the wrong things,
resulting in hurting pple's feelings.
so by then, slowly day by day,
year by year,
i became withdrawn.
i'm no longer fun-loving.
except maybe only with boyfriend.
but still, boyfriend is away from sg,
on a stupid island call tekong.
=(
fifth,
there was this someone whom literally made me damn unhappy.
she was all well and good and asked me for advices on opening a blogshop
that do sprees.of cos being kind i told her sprees cant really earn much plus, and there is so much work to do there are so many shops doing it,
so she asked if doing instocks would be good, would it be risky ya-da ya-da,
and in the end,
she opened a blogshop doing instocks.
i dont really care if she would be reading this cos i've kept this inside me for goodness long time.
and yes, i am unhappy that you aren't grateful.
but no, i wont name who.
+ the increasing no of friends opening blogshops.
makes my passion of doing this drop.
so far, reputation is good and all.
but the effort to make this go on needs omfgzzzz alot of energy.
imagine working 830 - 6pm everyday.
then sometimes need to take stocks after work, take pictures, take measurements, design collates, think of fantastic names of those apparels, reply emails, advertise, buy replenishments for stamps, envelopes, scotch tapes, go PO post registered mails (sometimes even skipping lunch), check items thoroughly for defects, pack parcels, paste those lousy stamps with water, write return address, reply customers again when their items are sent...
you think it's easy?
somemore we're only closeeeee to getting back our capital.
nowhere near the earning mark.
each time we are close back, we drop back again cos of replenishing new stocks.
but still, thanks to those who have been supporting us and purchasing from us.
we thank you much loads for your endless support.
that's enough for moody issues.
happy issues for now,
i'm glad kezia's still my best buddy around,
there are some friends whom we 2 most probably have lost.
disappeared into the air.
they know we're missing them.
but somehow, some things are not meant to be.
we were talking about, ok, i was groaning about,
me having no friends.
i seriously do not have a lot of friends,
i dont anyhow get along well with people.
instead, i am wary of meeting new people.
not because i'm anti social,
but it's hard to meet someone now that you can really get along with,
and then kezia also said, me too.
i was like, awww. i want to hug her.
we're in the same boat but we have never spoken about this.
nonetheless,
divazelle pulled us closer by x1000000000000000000000000
we never met up so much during those days did we?! =D
i'm still very glad i have her as a bestie.
to enjoy, to crap, to bitch about guys and boyfriends and complain our work/studies.
her deadlines are approaching in nov,
so all the best okie my dear! (:
we're always there for each other even though we did not announce this.
i will still be there if you need me though sometimes i may not have really useful words.
but there'll always be a shoulder for you! (:
update about my life okay,
i'm turning 20 soon, ok crap.
kezia asked what i want for my birthday =X
being the sweetest yet again,
she asked me for 3 choices.
basically i answered with "vouchers" LOL!
1st, voucher, 2nd also voucher, 3rd, is the same as 2nd.
i'm a good friend hor.
no need brain-rack about my prezzie =D
somehow i think presents do get little by little every year.
i think is becos i have no friends again.
>.<
i like presents you know, deep down from the bottom of my heart.
i hope guangyi they all buy me something too.
like last year, an angbao ( =x ) x2 with !
lionel will be reading this. so make this happen before you enlist okie.
thanks in advance! (:
[i'm always bu ke qi when i talk to guys, which made me feel more at ease cos i need not think about what to say or whether i'll hurt their feelings]
so that explains why i have little girlfriends.
girls are by nature, manipulative.
what to do?
it's just best to have one and treasure her till the very end (:
okay, i also signed up for driving, private,
under kezia's instructor! (thanks and thanks again for all your directions!)
gonna have my basic trial test on 21st oct, and the real test on 23rd.
hope i can pass fast fast =]
i hate bbdc. i always feel very lost when i enter it.
nobody helps me, nobody gives me crap on how i should do this, how i should do that.
or is it i dumb. roars.
=(
and i've been hardcore online shopping again.
-guilty-
i wanna go shopping soon, any mates? (:
i wan to get white heels! =D
shopping makes me happy! (:
i also want to get a computer.
gonna ask dar to help me to fix one =D
he's a pro! (:
glad he is. HAHA.
my hubby-to-be must be someone i swoon over, admire, and love.
he's the one =D
he says he will propose when time comes.
he happily put on the ring on my right middle finger.
that i bought myself.
so when i put up a middle finger for you to see,
take a look at the ring,
that costs $3.90.
he promise to buy a better one.
better be! =P
okie,
this post should made up for the lack of updates.
yupei just asked me out for bubble tea, YAYS!
glad i still got yupei too! (:
MUACKS.
ps. my cat starred at the fly so long that she fell asleep on the floor. so damn cute please! she makes me happy. (:
